I had the grand opportunity last Thursday of competing in the annual Australia Day Texas Hold ‘Em Championships. 22 contestants all vying for a piece of the money on offer. How much I hear you ask. Well that is irrelevant people. For poker is not always about the money. It is a select group of people who can earn themselves a living from playing poker. For me personally, it is about the thrill and the competition.
I have traditionally been the whipping boy of our poker tournaments – always getting the rubbish cards and then when I get a good hand everyone seems to fold before the goddamn flop. What can you do? Thursday was different though. But before we discuss results, I’ll set the scene a little and fill you in on all the tournament ins and outs.
As mentioned above, 22 poker players filed into the small townhouse to settle in for an afternoon (and evening) of gambling. Being held on Australia Day which for the foreigners among us, is in the middle of the Australian summer, it was stinking hot throughout the house. I’m guessing that the temperature would have been at least 35o Celsius (95 Fahrenheit for the backwards folks). Add to this the stench of 22 bodies tightly crammed onto tables and you have yourself an almost unbearable setting for perhaps the world’s most intense game of Hold ‘Em in a long time. After the seats were drawn it was quite amusing to me to find out not only was I already sitting at the final table (others would merge in as the day went on and the players were eliminated) but I was also situated directly in front of a fan. The Famous PMAC was sitting in relative luxury.
Onto the actual poker then. The day started slowly with only one or two chumps being dismissed in the first 3 or 4 hours. Everyone was playing their cards tight as they didn’t want to be sent packing. During one of the hourly five-minute breaks, a few of us popped outside for a bit of a puff on the old peace pipe so to speak. While not really a performance enhancing drug, it did relieve some of the boredom of the tight play early on.
Slowly but surely, the pawns kept dropping. A few more hours ticked away and a few more puffs on the peace pipe were required. By now I was pretty happy with my play. Suddenly things started turning around on me. Before I knew it my chips were leaving my possession faster than I could comprehend. By the time the half-hour dinner break arrived, my stack was low and I was spiralling towards Hold ‘Em obscurity one again.
A good solid think session during dinner refreshed me and I crept back into the game over the next 2 or so hours with wise folding and smart betting. By the time the final table was decided I was looking steady but was far from being the chip leader.
And so the final table played on. The night was becoming late and tiredness was creeping in. The blinds were going up all too quickly for my liking. Sure enough, crunch time was here and I was getting nothing better than a low pair on any deal. Suddenly though, I started getting some great hands followed by sensational flops. I slowly climbed my way back into the game and after about 12.5 hours I was in the final four.
The final four was a tough affair. No one wanted to play too loosely yet the blinds were by now so big and coming around twice in every four hands that playing tightly just wasn’t an option. I gritted my teeth and thought it’s time to have a crack at the big dogs. This approach wasn’t really the best approach but at this point I was a clear chip loser and had to make a run at glory. The dude opposite me was also running low and at about 2am (we kicked things off at 12:15pm – 14 hours earlier) I went all in on two pair, jacks and nines. Admittedly there were two reasons for me not to make this move:
• the prize money was split between the top 3 (majority to 1st with a small amount to 2nd and 3rd) and I could have waited and come 3rd possibly; and
• I had a pretty ordinary hand.
End result – I was beaten by 3 Jacks and finished 4th of 22. Not an entirely bad result for someone who never gets good cards but I was a real chance at cracking the money this time. Money – that would have been nice. At the end of the day though I pretend that I don’t play for money. I guess I truly don’t play for money though due to the fact that I have never actually won any. But my windfall is coming muthafuckas – mark my words.
